MARRIAGE

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The battle between the sexes began in the Garden of Eden, as the result of the fall.  Michael Smiley discusses one of the most powerful methods to eliminate divorce - learning how to communicate during conflict.  One must learn how to use knowledge.  Skills and structure on how to argue effectively will help reach a win/win agreement.  Researchers predict with up to 93% accuracy that divorce will be based on the couple’s communication skills and methods.  According to Smiley almost all divorce occurs because of lack of communication and resolution skills and methods.

  1. Research shows that roughly 12.5% of all couples divorce before their first child is 1-1 ½ year of age.

  2. Marital conflict increases by a factor of 9 after the birth of the first child.

  3. Conversation declines dramatically.

  4. Mothers of children under 5 years old without a supportive partner are at greater risk for becoming depressed than the other groups.

  5. 40% of children born into two-parent homes will live in a single parent home by age 18.

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RULES FOR LISTENING:

  1. Listen

  2. Understand

  3. Validate

Communication is one of the key issues as couples learn to effectively
communicate with their spouses clearly and concisely.

 

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HOW CLOSE IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

All marriages and other long-term relationships have difficult moments. This short quiz will give you an idea
of whether you and your partner appreciate each other.  Answer each of the following either "true" or "false."

  1. We enjoy doing small things together, like folding laundry or watching T.V. 

  2. I look forward to spending my free time with my partner. 

  3. At the end of the day, my partner is glad to see me. 

  4. My partner is usually interested in hearing my views. 

  5. I think my partner would consider me a very close friend. 

  6. My partner is one of my best friends. 

  7. I think my partner would consider me a very close friend. 

  8. We love talking to each other. 

  9. When we go out together, the time goes very quickly. 

  10. We always have a lot to say to each other. 

  11. We have a lot of fun together. 

  12. We are spiritually very compatible. 

  13. We tend to share the same basic values. 

  14. We tend to spend time together in similar ways. 

  15. We have a lot of common interest. 

  16. We have many of the same dreams. 

  17. We like to do a lot of the same things. 

  18. Whatever we do together, we usually need to have a good time. 

  19. My partner tells me when he or she has had a bad day. 

  20. Even though our interests are different, I enjoy my partner’s interest.

“Give yourself one point each for each “true” answer. If you score 10 or higher, your marriage (or relationship) is strong. If you score less than 10, your marriage (or relationship) could use some improvement.”
— SOURCE: GOTTMAN AND SILVER, 1999: 81-82
Every Christian home must be founded on husbands and wives who are learning to duplicate the love relationship between Christ and the church.

Every Christian home must be founded on husbands and wives who are learning to duplicate the love relationship between Christ and the church.

As the marriage goes, so goes the home - it's inevitable. The strength of your relationship with your children, your church, and your community depends mostly upon the strength in the bond that exists between husband and wife in that primary relationship of becoming "one" in Christ! Please visit our Resources page for materials that can help you learn how to keep that bond strong.